Two months before getting married I told my future-to-be-wife, “How about moving to Ghana for two years one month after getting married?” Emily could have slapped me in the face, sent me to hell, started crying thinking,” What have I done?”, or just called the wedding quits. She didn’t; she just said,”Let’s do it, I’ll go anywhere with you babe”.
Two weeks before departing we found out she was pregnant. Emily could have told me to stay, not go, be with her while she was pregnant. She didn’t; we figured out a schedule in such a way that I would visit my wife almost every other month – she was determined to make my new job work and have a baby at the same time.
After being six weeks pregnant, Emily had a miscarriage. It was extremely hard on her and her husband; I, was away on Ghana. She could have stayed in the US feeling sad, depressed, spending time with her parents. She didn’t; the minute she was fit for travel she got in a plane and flew 3,000 miles to be as soon as possible as close as possible to her husband.
When she arrived to Accra an empty 2,500 square feet condo awaited her. Our furniture was still in the high seas, I had just moved into the place from the hotel, and the only two pieces of furniture I had were a foam mattress in the bedroom floor and loaner couch from a fellow colleague which was uglier than Rossie O’donell in bikini. She could have lost it with me, complained about why her newly minted husband lived in substandard conditions with no furniture, or just jumped in a plane back to the US. She didn’t, instead she decided that while her husband worked, she would take care of the house, she was made sure all furniture needed was found, bought, and delivered… on-time, of good quality, and in line with our aesthetics concepts.
After some weeks, I hired a driver. The man could not speak English and did not know where anything was in Accra. He only had to take me to and from work, but needed to drive around Miss Wancier all over town. Additionally, the car given to us had a faulty A/C and at mid-day in Accra traffic it gets pretty hot and nasty. This was another reason to loose it – Emily even threatened to divorce me if I didn’t fix the A/C (see previous driving blog). She didn’t; instead she slowly taught our driver better English, she put in him school to learn how to read and write, and by trial and error, soon enough, after many wrong turns and tons of traffic and heat, they learned together where the things were and the best ways of getting there. She still hated me for the faulty A/C to which they resorted to opening windows.
Staying home for dinner can mean starvation for food snobs. As explained in the “eating out” blog, food is pretty simple in Ghana – this means local food as well as groceries to cook. Emily could have crossed her arms and gone out for dinner everyday after work. She didn’t; instead she spent half of the day everyday sitting in traffic, again, going to the four grocery stores we know looking for the perfect ingredients (each grocery store has different imports such as Shop Rite – South African, Maxsmart – English, Koala – Lebanese, Knights of Malta – Italian) so that she and her husband could enjoy a wonderful meal everyday after work.
So Emily furnished the apartment and found food to cook and we could have eaten great homemade bagels in our solid African wood table everyday of our stay in Accra looking at each other’s faces day in and day out. She didn’t. While I was working 10 hour days, she decided to make sure she had friends to hang out, and by default have friends for me too. After about 3 months in Accra, Emily was the best connected expat in the country and we had events and outings to attend to every weekend. Life started to be a bit more exiting.
I could continue on and on with this ode to my wife including here skills in baking, knitting, sewing, quilting, yoga, making pillows, organizing, socializing…, however will spare you the time, you get the point, my wife is simply amazing. The one thing I do have to mention is that we have been apart for about 6 months (exclude 1 month when I traveled to the US to presence the birth of my son – yes, we tried again and succeeded, she spent 6 months in Accra pregnant and went back to the US for the last three months) where I have enjoyed sleep, comfort, quietness, and solitude. Emily however, has had to endure uncomfortable pregnant nights and sleepless nights since Eli was born without a single complaint – 1.5 years married, 0.5 years separate. She is absolutely incredible and I just can’t wait for her to be back in Ghana with Eli – the next 6 weeks seem an eternity.
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